Why a Sex or Relationship Contract?
An great conversation starter – many couples never express their sexual wants and needs, even though they truly want to. Just bringing up the topic can be daunting. Going through a Sex Contract together is a fun way to get started. It brings up the topics for you!
Motivates you to explore – includes plenty of saucy ideas. Use the Negotiation Sheet to create, talk about and plan your sexy adventures.
Keeps your eye on the “prize” – with all the daily grind stuff that gets in the way, having a mutually enticing agreement ensures you prioritize time for erotic encounters.
Keeps you talking – a main reason why relationships fail is couples not communicating about these crucial issues. A sex contract brings up all the essential topics and makes the process fun, easy and even sexy.
Writing a Contract is the best way to:
Bring up and discuss your needs, wants, desires and expectations;
Set down your goals, rules, rights, responsibilities and limits;
Know where you stand;
Prioritize intimacy and sexual exploration;
Review your progress and make changes to reflect your exploration;
Formalize your commitment (please note an Erotic Contract is NOT legally binding). It is a tool to help guide your relationship.
Why have a Contract for Casual Sex?
It’s fun & raunchy! Plus you can set clear boundaries and make your intentions known from the start by signing a mutually beneficial contract. When you engage in sexual intimacy with someone, emotions run high and the situation can get misread very quickly. Both parties should know and agree that it’s just about casual sex with “no strings” attached.
Even if you verbally agree on this in the beginning, many ‘friends with benefits’ still gradually break the boundaries. Unfortunately, the feelings are usually only one sided and this can lead to potential emotional disaster, and unwanted behavior like stalking. Avoid this and make an agreement for both your sake.
Why a Contract for Casual Sex and Dating?
This agreement is something you can put to the person you are seeing if you’re not exactly sure where you both stand. It’s specifically designed to empower you both to discuss your needs and wants. It’s flexible enough to provide for just casual sex but also to develop into something more if the desire is there.
When you first begin seeing someone it can be extremely difficult to judge the other person’s intentions. Excitement is running high and sometimes meanings can be misjudged. What does the other person want? What do I want? Communication can be difficult even among long-term couples. That’s why it’s best to outline your intentions right from the start. There are restrictions in the agreement on what you can do and ask of one another. When someone is denied of taking a relationship further, it may just make them want it more.
So, whoever gets stronger feelings will want to end this agreement and will want to begin a new one at the next level (a relationship). That means if either party has feelings for the other, your arrangement won’t last long as a casual thing. The agreement will either come to an end completely or it may signal the beginning of something new. Either way, the idea is to enable you to end casual sex early enough for neither party to get hurt. It’s an excellent way to speed up communication and gives both parties a position of power. Whatever you want out of the deal, this contract can get if for you. Good luck and have fun!
Are you looking to add some kink to your relationship?
Do you fantasize about taking control or being dominated?
Well, there’s never been a better time to get into it. But where do you start?
The best place to start is to discuss what you’d both like. Talk about your needs, wants and also your dislikes (limits). Many people just dive into the experience and expect their partner to automatically know these things. Don’t fall into this trap…it’s a recipe for disappointment.
If your partner is not a mind reader, you’ll need to have a chat first.
Rather than just fumble your way through it, try our Kinky Contract to start the conversation!
It’s a great way of bringing up the topic and to talk about those fantasies you may otherwise leave dormant and unfulfilled.
It doesn’t have to be a formal discussion. Make it as fun and hot as you like. What conversation could be more piquant and erotic than talking about what you’d like to do to each other (or have done to you).
The Kinky Contract is a legal style document that helps couples set up their own dominant/submissive arrangement (whether in or outside of the bedroom or both).