Today is 8mg Methotrexate day, and it’s the junior prom of my eldest child and my bonus
daughter, his girlfriend of 2 years. None of the members of our polycule ever
got the romanticized “traditional prom experience,” thus, collaborating with
BD’s mom, we have been jumping through hoops and living vicariously through
our kiddos with the excitement and innocence of this epic experience.
Its been so interesting watching these two awkwardly try to find fun in trying on expensive
dresses and looking at limousines, neither of which actually matter to our
kids. Both of them would have been fine to go in clothes they already have and
really just wanted to have dinner and Uber over. Funny how we all have been working to hard at
making the experience perfect, that we failed to realize, that their vision of
perfect was based upon the values we raised them with, and not the idea of prom
that we had been feeling like we missed out on all these years.
For these kids, it’s all about their quality time together. They are excited to go have sushi,
see some friends and come home to put on lounge clothes and watch a movie. The
two of them have been so great about humoring all of us and I think they are
amused at watching their parents being completely dorky about the entire
situation. At the same time they have saved their siblings from the torture of
our projection, as I know moving forward that we will ask the kids what they
want for their experience and enjoy watching each of them be different. What is
really satisfying about this portion of the journey, is that we all worked
hard, together as a village, to create the space where our children not only
have the freedom to make the choice for their experiences, but that we all, as
a team, are able to offer them the experiences they desire which I suppose is a
goal of many parents.
Now for the part that is the reason why our children will need lifelong therapy.
Earlier this week, we received notification that there was an “alternative” non-school
sponsored prom going on this very same evening at a venue that is walking
distance from our downtown townhome. Last night, while having a gurl pedicure
night with BD and her mom, she told us all about it. The school-sponsored prom
is being heavily monitored and there will be security. This is of course due to
the epidemic of school violence currently plaguing this culture. But,
apparently a gaggle of students collectively fund raised and are having a
student sponsored event at a venue with less supervision, drugs, sex, and that
certainly not what we want our kids doing on prom night.
We asked our kids, why did you choose to go to the school prom vs. the other prom. Again, both kids separately told us, why would we want to be at a place where we would
not have any fun? We want to enjoy our time together then come home and snuggle
watching a movie. We would also probably spend the whole night taking care of
How is it that “WE” raised such boring and well-put together kids? It has been a joy to
watch. Now, in the midst of all this healthy family stuff, we developed a fun
plan to wear go pro cameras, dress the prom part, and crash the alternative
prom. We wonder, will it be this, epic event we all hope it will be.
Let me tell you, this plan was so epic, that it was made to be the next blockbuster summer
comedy starring people like Jennifer McCarthy, Bill Hader, Jason Momoa, Gal
Gadot, Lesley Jones, and a few others which we are still on debate. Melissa
McCarthy is a total must because we were totally bringing in this friend of
ours who is a total Doppelganger for her and of course. In fact, I had planned
to send an emergency text to all The Turtles, my kinkster event planners, and
as many of the prom parents as I could. The x generation parents crashing the
alternative prom of the i-generation. We had visions of Tom Hanks’s Bachelor
Party Movie meets Animal House but with a twist of Sons of Anarchy. I mean we had
people willing to wear their furry costumes, leather pony regalia, and a St.
Andrew’s cross. Our goal was to turn the alternative prom into something that liked
a Folsom Street event during pride week.
Then the sun went down, and we got all caught up in a new Netflix Series. We finally
concluded that everyone attending that event that we were not facilitating are
probably minors and we decided that was just an expensive and embarrassing
legal event waiting to happen. So, instead we became the lame geeky parents
that we are and hacked on the couch while we continued our Netflix series. We
also bought tickets to Blockers with our close friends in order to live the
experience vicariously through Hollywood., exactly where it belongs when you are over 40.